Thursday, May 12, 2011
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Why do the worst things happen to the best of people?
I think I can answer that with a fairly simple answer: there are those who think they know what's best, what is 'right', and roll with it.
My mom will be laid off in little over a month due to a decision the conservative governor chose to make. Because of his consolidation of state agencies, my mom will be fresh out of work. My mom will be filling out applications, going through interviews, in hopes of finding something that will suffice as a steady, comparable income to what she had.
I'm gonna argue at the most basic of human values...forget business and bureaucratic BS. I'm arguing as the son of a mother who was laid off due to budget cuts that are supposed to help us. With that, Mr. Brownback, I say GO TO HELL. How dare you decide my mom's near future with the wave of your Republican wand. Is the legislature so wrapped out your finger that they refuse to refute such an outrageous decision? Is it true that while the people think they hold a certain power, the sad, sad fact is that it's all up to the select few who seem to hardly have the balls to stand up to such a poor excuse of a leader. Tell me, sir, is that what you're telling me, because your actions are pointing that direction.
No matter what the argument is that one can come up with, the fact remains that you hurt my mom and I will not be beaten down by some conservative prick like you. I would love to hear you explain yourself in front of me and my family and tell us, with all certainty, that this is worth it. Tell my mom the struggle she will face is worth the past 30 some years she's worked. Tell my dad he shouldn't feel obligated to work more in order to provide for his wife when he's already working two jobs as it is. Tell my sister she doesn't need to worry, being the kind, caring person she is, about my mom and her future. Make her alright with the fact that her mother is being kicked to the curb. Give me a reason to hope...and don't bullshit with me. Give my mom a job. Give her options. Don't just leave her out to dry. She doesn't deserve that.
The hard decisions you have to make are hardly a scrape to your elbow compared to the hole you leave in us that are actually effected. Step down from you pedestal and open your eyes. You're going to find yourself horribly alone if you keep this kind of policy up...and rightfully so. Then you might actually gain some insight in the mind of the hopeless, in the mind of the laid off, in the mind of the families effected by this consolidation, in the mind of your citizens.
I know this sounds depressing and hopeless but you can thank the governor for that. It's his product and who am I to refuse credit where credit is due?
Friday, April 8, 2011
Saturday, April 2, 2011
So I'm sitting here, by myself, listening to some music that demands some introspection, eating my cereal, at 2:30 in the morning, and all I can think to myself is "This will work...right?".
For those of you that are so horribly misinformed, see this.
Is this what I saw comin'?
Uh....no. This is not.
BUT I'm fine with it...Well, I've come to accept it. An overwhelming feeling of guilt has crept up on me. I was used to the cookie-cutter schedule that college presented: Wake up. Go to class. Lunch. Class. Take the bus home. Nap. Snack. Go out/work out/do something, anything. Rinse and repeat. That was my life.
Now it seems my schedule has been reduced down to nothing. I go to work when I need to. Aside from that, I try to make sure I'm up at a decent time. I try to do something productive during the day and I go to work. I do this all in hopes of a dream or vision or whatever, of opening up a bar. I do this with the mindset of "this will work."
This potentially devastating leap.
This will work.
Friday, March 11, 2011
After serving for the past 8 months, I've come to a profound realization: People suck. There are those 'gems' out there that love to complain, thus love making your life a living hell at their expense. This concept was embodied by a rather large lady I had the privilege of serving a few nights back. Here's the run-down...
There were six middle aged women, all of which looked a little on the trashier side so I wasn't expecting much (Yea, yea, that sounds mean, but you learn to trust your superficial instincts). From the start, they seemed nice enough. It was Martini night so they all got a round of martinis and some salads and whatnot. One select, aforementioned lady wanted a straw for her water. I was pretty busy so I forgot to bring it the next time around. Whatever, she'll live. Finally I remembered to bring it and I joked, "About time, eh?". She laughed and said something, I can't really remember.
So by the time they were on their second round, it was about 11, and my manager said I could be cut. With that, I went to their table and told em I was about to leave so they could close out with me or I could transfer their tab to the bar. They decided to close out. I brought them their check, they gave me their cards, I ran 'em, and brought 'em back. I decided to go by the table and swipe their closed out checks because they were taking forever to get up. I get back to the computer and realize I am one check short but wasn't too concerned since I figured it was hidden somewhere on the table, plus I was just pissed because they all were God-awful tippers. I went back after they left to look for it. I found it. It was face down, halfway hidden. I turn it around and NOT ONLY did the lady leave me roughly 9%, but on the top corner, the ticket read 'Pretty bad service...'.
Listen here Plus Sized (oooo...too mean?), I understand I was a little busy so I'm sure my service may not have been pristine, HOWEVER, if it was TRULY that bad, why not tell me? Or not tip me at all? Or just leave it at the 9% tip? That obviously sent a pretty clear message. You realize I have 20 other drunk people that want my undying attention and service that I have to tend to. You realize I'm making 2.13/hr so tipping a dollar on a $20 or $25 tab is a travesty. You realize that writing 'pretty bad service' does nothing productive, in fact, it just makes me resent a-holes like you THAT much more. Wait no, resent isn't a fair verb. I think loathe is a little more appropriate.
If I was addicted to nicotine, YOU'D be the reason I smoke. If I was an alcoholic, YOU'D be the reason I drink. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for making my work-life that much harder. I hope you're not like this in other aspects of your life, or else you are going to be a very lonely, lonely person.
I think there's some traffic outside. Go play in it.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
I recently started drinking V8. I remember as a kid it tasting like death. However, with my more 'esteemed' taste buds, I have grown to like it. Whether or not it just reminds me of Bloody Mary's is not the issue (however I do love me some Bloody Mary's...especially Louise's West's).
On a side note, I'm on day 5 of living on my own. So far, so good. It's a little strange but I don't mind it. I'm working so much I really hardly notice it. It's the days off, such as yesterday, that I really get restless but I'll manage...usually by either cleaning, playing my music (ps. just got a new snare. SUPER excited for it..), reading, or watching Scrubs, as of late. I suppose there's worse things I could be doing to occupy my time. I'm just waiting for it to get nice out so I can get out and ride.
Aaaand that's about all I got for today. Nothing too in depth or philosophical but due to a request from someone, I was told to write more...which isn't a bad thing, I don't think. So there's that.
ps. Might I mention that the above link is the first successful one I've EVER put up in the blog. High fives all 'round! YEA!
Monday, March 7, 2011
"So how does it feel now that you're not having to go to class and take tests? I bet you're loving it," says generally everyone that I call my friends and acquaintances.
This question, while seeming pretty obvious at the shallowest of levels, actually packs a little punch. Here's why...
When people think of dropping out of school they automatically jump to the conclusion of freedom to do whatever you want. They/I think/thought that the chains of a 'broken educational system (blah..blah..blah)" have been lifted. They can do anything. Anything.
Yea, ummm that's terrifying.
By dropping out, I'm throwing myself out to my own devices, instruments that haven't really been tested for such strenuous conditions. By dropping out, I forfeited my supposed safety net. By dropping out, I alienated myself from my peers and got tossed in that group that everyone knew they weren't going anywhere anyways. By dropping out, I slapped a scarlet letter on my chest. By dropping out, I, from the looks of the previous few sentences, have become a little dramatic.
By dropping out, I made the biggest decision of my life...thus far. But don't you think I know this? I know I brought this on myself, stigma and all. I know that I have potentially become a disappointment. Trust me.
When I'm asked this question of 'how awesome it must feel to drop out', yea it's great but it's also alot to handle. It's hard to justify that decision when you struggle to stay busy throughout the day when you know everyone else is going to classes. It's hard to rationalize with people this decision when you have nothing to show for it, and probably won't for the next few years. It's hard to feel good about a decision that has just as much of a chance for failure as it does success...if not more.
But....I'm growing up and I'm learning and I'm realizing I gotta make my own silver lining if there's none to be had in the immediate future. My confidence in the abstract is slowly surpassing my reliance on the concrete. I'm basing my future on an idea, not a degree.
Opening yourself up to any life you want, while great and freeing (if that's a word) and daring, is also scary as hell.
With all that said, rest assured I fully plan on NOT failing but sometimes, a brotha's gotta vent. Can I get an AMEN! (*Amen*)