Grabble Grabble Grabble

After serving for the past 8 months, I've come to a profound realization: People suck. There are those 'gems' out there that love to complain, thus love making your life a living hell at their expense. This concept was embodied by a rather large lady I had the privilege of serving a few nights back. Here's the run-down...

There were six middle aged women, all of which looked a little on the trashier side so I wasn't expecting much (Yea, yea, that sounds mean, but you learn to trust your superficial instincts). From the start, they seemed nice enough. It was Martini night so they all got a round of martinis and some salads and whatnot. One select, aforementioned lady wanted a straw for her water. I was pretty busy so I forgot to bring it the next time around. Whatever, she'll live. Finally I remembered to bring it and I joked, "About time, eh?". She laughed and said something, I can't really remember.

So by the time they were on their second round, it was about 11, and my manager said I could be cut. With that, I went to their table and told em I was about to leave so they could close out with me or I could transfer their tab to the bar. They decided to close out. I brought them their check, they gave me their cards, I ran 'em, and brought 'em back. I decided to go by the table and swipe their closed out checks because they were taking forever to get up. I get back to the computer and realize I am one check short but wasn't too concerned since I figured it was hidden somewhere on the table, plus I was just pissed because they all were God-awful tippers. I went back after they left to look for it. I found it. It was face down, halfway hidden. I turn it around and NOT ONLY did the lady leave me roughly 9%, but on the top corner, the ticket read 'Pretty bad service...'.

Listen here Plus Sized (oooo...too mean?), I understand I was a little busy so I'm sure my service may not have been pristine, HOWEVER, if it was TRULY that bad, why not tell me? Or not tip me at all? Or just leave it at the 9% tip? That obviously sent a pretty clear message. You realize I have 20 other drunk people that want my undying attention and service that I have to tend to. You realize I'm making 2.13/hr so tipping a dollar on a $20 or $25 tab is a travesty. You realize that writing 'pretty bad service' does nothing productive, in fact, it just makes me resent a-holes like you THAT much more. Wait no, resent isn't a fair verb. I think loathe is a little more appropriate.

If I was addicted to nicotine, YOU'D be the reason I smoke. If I was an alcoholic, YOU'D be the reason I drink. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for making my work-life that much harder. I hope you're not like this in other aspects of your life, or else you are going to be a very lonely, lonely person.

I think there's some traffic outside. Go play in it.

PEACE,

Brian

Nom Noms

I recently started drinking V8. I remember as a kid it tasting like death. However, with my more 'esteemed' taste buds, I have grown to like it. Whether or not it just reminds me of Bloody Mary's is not the issue (however I do love me some Bloody Mary's...especially Louise's West's).

On a side note, I'm on day 5 of living on my own. So far, so good. It's a little strange but I don't mind it. I'm working so much I really hardly notice it. It's the days off, such as yesterday, that I really get restless but I'll manage...usually by either cleaning, playing my music (ps. just got a new snare. SUPER excited for it..), reading, or watching Scrubs, as of late. I suppose there's worse things I could be doing to occupy my time. I'm just waiting for it to get nice out so I can get out and ride.

Aaaand that's about all I got for today. Nothing too in depth or philosophical but due to a request from someone, I was told to write more...which isn't a bad thing, I don't think. So there's that.

Brian

ps. Might I mention that the above link is the first successful one I've EVER put up in the blog. High fives all 'round! YEA!

The Question

"So how does it feel now that you're not having to go to class and take tests? I bet you're loving it," says generally everyone that I call my friends and acquaintances.

This question, while seeming pretty obvious at the shallowest of levels, actually packs a little punch. Here's why...

When people think of dropping out of school they automatically jump to the conclusion of freedom to do whatever you want. They/I think/thought that the chains of a 'broken educational system (blah..blah..blah)" have been lifted. They can do anything. Anything.

Oooooo sh*t.

Yea, ummm that's terrifying.

By dropping out, I'm throwing myself out to my own devices, instruments that haven't really been tested for such strenuous conditions. By dropping out, I forfeited my supposed safety net. By dropping out, I alienated myself from my peers and got tossed in that group that everyone knew they weren't going anywhere anyways. By dropping out, I slapped a scarlet letter on my chest. By dropping out, I, from the looks of the previous few sentences, have become a little dramatic.

By dropping out, I made the biggest decision of my life...thus far. But don't you think I know this? I know I brought this on myself, stigma and all. I know that I have potentially become a disappointment. Trust me.

When I'm asked this question of 'how awesome it must feel to drop out', yea it's great but it's also alot to handle. It's hard to justify that decision when you struggle to stay busy throughout the day when you know everyone else is going to classes. It's hard to rationalize with people this decision when you have nothing to show for it, and probably won't for the next few years. It's hard to feel good about a decision that has just as much of a chance for failure as it does success...if not more.

But....I'm growing up and I'm learning and I'm realizing I gotta make my own silver lining if there's none to be had in the immediate future. My confidence in the abstract is slowly surpassing my reliance on the concrete. I'm basing my future on an idea, not a degree.

Opening yourself up to any life you want, while great and freeing (if that's a word) and daring, is also scary as hell.

With all that said, rest assured I fully plan on NOT failing but sometimes, a brotha's gotta vent. Can I get an AMEN! (*Amen*)

Good. Night.

Brian

Get. Out. Of...TOWN!

I've noticed something about my generation. We don't stay put. Whether we're chasing cheap thrills, escaping our past, or pursuing a new life (career, family, etc..) we rarely stay in one place for too long. I know I don't write in my blog often, but I think a semi-common theme in it, as a whole, is change. Aptly so, I think. After all, I am 22. I think its natural though. Take your hometown for example. (I'm speaking generically, so for all you exceptions out there...shut it. You're ruining my argument.) You go to elementary school, middle school, and highschool in the same town. Then you graduate. Now what? For the majority, we get the hell outta Dodge. We go to college, to a new town, to a new experience. Anything but here. After college, then what? Grad school? A career? Pack your bags kids, it's time to go.

We are always on the move...never comfortable with the present situation we're in.

I'm a prime example. In less than 2 months, I may be moving to Florida for 6 months. Why? For one, I need to make money for the bar, which is at the forefront. Two, it's something different. It's something I can tell people. It'll make a nice conversation piece.

This is not to say that I'm over Lawrence. I love Lawrence. I love the people, the town, and the experiences it has to offer.

The same can't be said about Topeka (my hometown). Yes I grew up there and I suppose I still consider it home, as my parent still live there and where they are, home is. With that said, I had to get outta there. Topeka is a place that will suck you in if you aren't careful. I think hometowns can be spoken for in that regard in general though. There's a fine line between jet-setting somewhere and giving up on a place. I'll be the first to say that I gave up on Topeka. It hardly tends to my needs.

This potential move to Florida has made me think alot of finding the good in places. Realizing I may be away from Lawrence for the better part of a year has made me come to grips with the fact that I enjoy my present situation, that is the people I've surrounded myself with and the places I've been. Why would I leave that? (see above..)

While I agree one should escape in order to better themselves, that same person has to give their current location a chance. I gave Topeka a chance. I realized all it has to offer. What I want, Topeka could not produce. I look at some of my friends still stuck there (stuck may be a bit brash) and think, "Man, sucks for them". But, those that are still in Topeka, maybe they found their niche? Maybe they found their place. I hope they have.

Where you are now, may not be where you are forever. Duh...But at the same token, where you are now, you have to find something worth sticking around for. If you can't, get outta there.

And that's that. Cliche's aside, the pursuit of happiness is very much dependent on where you are and if you aren't happy where you're at, then I'd say that chase isn't going too well.

Alcohol and writing goes together wonderfully....

Brian

And that's that

I dropped out of school.

Scratch that...I decided I was finished (thanks Kanye).

Before you write me off with that stigma of a college drop out, rest assured that I have a plan. I have a plan to open a bar with my best friend. I have a plan to do something that I want to do....not what other people think I should do.

I'm not gonna get into the details, but just know that I am perfectly happy and incredibly excited about the decision I made. So before you assume the worst about me and my decision, ask yourself, 'are you excited about your future? What are YOU doing about it?'

Sorry school...we both knew this wasn't gonna last anyways. It's better we cut our losses now.

Brian

Sir Palauniuk

May I never be complete.

May I never be content.

May I never be perfect.

Words to live by my friends...words to live by.

Here's to you, Little Lady..

So we carried the casket- YOUR casket- to a spot nestled right by Pete's. We carried you to your spot and lowered you down. With a few last words, we got back in our cars and drove away knowing full well, the severity of it all had yet to show us its true power.

And I have a pretty good idea where you are now, but I don't care. I just want you back.

Until next time Grandma,

Brian