They See Me Rollin'...

***As a preface, this post is not meant to be uplifting...so if you're one of those 'look on the bright side' type of person, this may not be a leisurely read.***



I hate traffic.

I hate traffic lights. I hate stop signs. I hate other drivers.

I hate traffic.

Maybe it's due to my impatience, or my lack of optimism, but it is what it is. There is nothing fun; nothing enjoyable, about driving in traffic. I'm a completely different person when I'm behind the wheel. It's actually pretty terrifying. You can actually see my eyes turn to a deep, souless black as I buckle in.

Something about driving stresses me out. If I hit a red light, I instantly think "Man. This sucks. Could this light be any more inconsistent and biased against me?". If another driver is going slow, or is doing something I don't think they should be doing, I make it very apparent that I am not happy. Stop signs? They decrease gas mileage. I do stop, however. I can't afford a ticket BUT I still hate them.

I'm generally a very pleasent person outside the car, in every day life, so don't let this post fool you. Everyone has their pet peeve and mine is driving with idiots. There are times where I feel bad because maybe the moron behind the wheel isn't a moron at all. Maybe this person's situation warrants his lack of driving ability or general cognative activity. Maybe the wife is pregnant or maybe it's an emergency. These 'special occasion' scenarios do run through my mind as I fume with anger, but I figure that chances of them actually needing to drive like they're the only one on the road is slim to none. So they..can suck it.

Again, don't try to use some clever, positive, Mr. Brightside mentality on me. I'm set on my ways. I'm doomed to life full of mild road rage and empty, unwarranted rage to a complete stranger. It's not fair to them, no. But I don't care. Everyone should just read my mind and drive like I want them to. It shouldn't be that hard.

Wooooo sah....

There's the charm

I'm driving down 6th street here in town (Lawrence) and I see this guy coming up in the opposite lane in a tractor. Nothing special. Then I see he's standing. Why would a guy driving a tractor in the middle of traffice be standing up? Well you see, he was standing out of necessity because how else are you gonna adjust yourself effectively? That's right people...Farmer Jon was playing pocket pool in the broad daylight, in the middle of traffic, while on a rusted tractor.

God bless America.

On Love...

Gross.

I'm not exactly one to write on relationships but something struck a bit of a nerve tonight at work. It was horrifying. It sucked the hope out of everything good and decent. It. Was. Aweful. I couldn't help myself from staring. Here was this older couple (mid 50s) sitting together over a nice steak meal...and I mean nice. Steaks don't run cheap where I work. So yea, here they are sitting together over a meal and they are both ON THEIR PHONES! WTF? I understand if one of them glances at their mobile device BUT they were on their respective phones for at least 15 minutes straight, without so much as looking at each other. What a sh*t relationship. According to their server (my friend), that is the only basis for conversation. That's right. The pics and the GIF's and the LOL's on their phones were the only thing that sparked conversation among the two 'supposed' lovers.

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO SOCIETY???

This 'lack of face to face communication' wasn't supposed to set in until the generation preceding me came of age. What happened to this relationship, that they had to resort to such a ridiculous device in order to keep their 'relationship' alive?

I'm not one to say.

BUT. I can say, with every confidence, that whatever they have going on is not love. If they have nothing to talk about...then so be it. If they are truly soul mates, then they should be comfortable with the silence. In fact, they should embrace it. They should know that the lack of verbal communication is not a slight to their partner, nor is it anything personal. It's an affirmation that they know they don't have to say a word, yet they know what each other is thinking. Maybe not word for word...but they have a general idea.

It's sad to think that such a couple, whom I'm guessing has been together for quite some time, have to resort to such tactics in order to escaper their reality. A solid relationship should be your escape from your everyday shinanigans that you find yourself in. Your significant other should be your safety net. It should not be an everyday struggle. I think this is why alot of couples split. They feel the pressures of outside influences (which may lead back to Proximity??--who knows) and think they need to make it work. Some say a relationship takes work. I say, if it's meant to be, the relationship is fine where it is...it's the individual that needs the work.

A relationship shouldn't be forced. It should form out of what the two individuals find most important. Whether it be communication, networking, and/or, where they see themselves in the future...a relatinship is only as strong as the weakest link.

I dunno...I just thought it was sad to see such a seemingly happy, old couple sit down to a depressing, reality-checking (is that a word?) meal.

I hope this doesn't happen to me...or anyone I know. Because this...this is a distortion of what a loving relationship should be. This is fake and destructive.

I'm not one to say what your relationship should be but this (this old couple) is not it.

Soooo....best wishes out there!

-Brian

Proximity (cont'd)

Ok. I got it. Your proximity determines you to a certain extent...and that extent is only to the point that you allow it to. Say you lived Arkansas. You grew up in a lower class family, a family that was less tolerant to other views. While you were growing up, you probably molded to those values. But then, once you grew up to your teens and were exposed to the outside world and all that it has to offer, you make a decision. You either alter those values that your proximity forged via your family and their values or you keep going with the 'norm' aka the way it's been your whole life. Once you reach a certain maturity, you make that decision and stick with it...until you feel like doing something differently. I think that makes sense. This is a process we're constantly going through and I think it's the basis of the want/need for change.

There.

Man...I don't even know if that made sense....

Dueces

Will Work for Food

Being poor sucks. As a college student, I had never felt the pinch of the penny until recently, particularly within the past few months. My first two years in school were cushioned with help from the parentals but now that I'm all grown up (as they say...some-including myself-may think otherwise) I'm left to my own defenses. I've never known what 'living paycheck to paycheck' feels like until now. Grocery shopping is a drag. I'm real hesitant to go out to eat unless I'm spending less than 8 bucks. Shoot, I've even made a list of cheap, yet healthy, foods. As depressing as this may sound though, I'm enjoying it. I want to see how I do. I'm interested to see the lessons I learn so if and when I strike it rich, I won't forget the struggle that will make all this nonsense worth it.

Ps. Still working on the 2nd part of "Proximity"...and by still working, I mean, I've hit a bit of a road block

On Proximity

Does proximity determine you, or do you determine your proximity? I use the word proximity because that's more of an 'umbrella' term for time, place, etc...the word location is too limiting. I ask this because it brings up some interesting points. Our proximity to things, to locales, to people determines who we are. One might even argue that it has a very heavy influence on your beliefs and values. That said, however, couldn't it be said that we reach a certain point where the tables are turned? By that, I mean, I think we all reach a point in our lives where we decide if we are gonna let this proximity, this intangible tie we have to our surroundings, hold us down. "Hold us down" seems a bit harsh. It's not necessarily bad to stick to your roots. It's just alot harder to leave your mark. I...think there's alot to be said about this, but I got to sleep because there's German material that's not going to study itself tomorrow morning. I'll be back to talk more...

For now,
Yours truly

Boop

I filled out an application for Sunflower Outdoor and Bike shop today. One of the questions asked me to tell them a joke. Now this is a company I see myself working with....

O yea, my joke was pretty simple. I just said Sarah Palin's chances of winning the presidency.