Feel the rhythm, feel the rhyme...

I've always had a problem with 'praise services', aka contemporary services. I never understood how waving your arms around, singing campfire songs with lack-luster lyrics made one feel closer to God....o wait. It doesn't. That, a long with the fact that the majority of the congregation involved in the 'praise fest' are shallow and need that false closeness to God because they don't know anything about their faith or their God. This stereotype (yes, I'll admit it's a stereotype, but it's spot on as far as I'm concerned) was further solidified this weekend. I'm walking up the dorm stairs with one of my friends when he runs into this kid he knows. We had been to a few parties (it was a friday night) and decided to call it quits semi-early. This kid informs us of his jaw dropping experience he had that night. He said something to this effect:

Kid: Man! You all missed out. I just got back from _____(insert some lame acronym for some campus worship service). You shoulda been there!

Friend: That's cool man. We just got back from _____'s house. (insert some guy's house whose name I do not know)

Kid: Dang! Yes we were singing for like 2 hours straight! We sang so much my voice hurts. It was really something. It put me in SUCH a good mood. Heck, I'm still in a good mood.

This isn't word for word but the last thing is...basically. I had a couple problems with this....but I won't complain about 'em............that's a lie. Here they are.

One. "You shoulda been there" He acted like he was all that and a bag of chips for going to a worship service on a Friday night when we were out at a party. Sorry I didn't get my gold stars out there champ. I guess I'm a little slow on the draw.

Two. "We were singing for two hours straight....We sang so much, my voice hurts!" Once again, congrats man. I'm sure that strain on your voice made God realize how devoted you are to Him. Singing for that long must have showed God how much you love him right? Wrong. You could sing 'Our God is an Awesome God' for ever and it would still count for next to nothing. Remember, actions don't get you into heaven...but I'm sure he knows that....that brings me to my last problem.

Three. "It put me in such a good mood. I'm still in a good mood!" That's straight up B.S. STRAIGHT UP! That mood you're feeling is nothing short of a facade. It's fake and it's something YOU created to hide the simple truth that you just wasted two hours of your life singing elementary songs while waving around your hands because you 'feel the spirit'. Why's it a waste? Nothing of substanence was done at this service. No sacraments. No lessons. And probably no Scripture. You're in a good mood because you think you are closer to God now that you've sang how much you love Him. You couldn't be more wrong. You're in a good mood because that's the facade you've came up with to hide the fact that you're relationship with God is that of a fifth grade crush. You're an idiot.

Always smiling,
Brian Shellenberger