On thankfulness

Cynicism is a killer. Trust me, I know. It's ironic; I like to keep things in a realistic perspective. What's a 'realistic' perspective? Yea, I really don't know. To me, it has seemed to be along the lines of knowing something could always be better, or something could always go wrong...no matter how great the occasion is. After some thought, however, I've concluded this is not realistic. This is just depressing. It seems like keeping it 'real' or being 'realistic' has been skewed to the point of being cynical...and I hate cynicism. It's annoying and it's depressing and it sucks the life out of...life.

That sounded cheesy. But do you get what I'm getting at?

Take me for example this- My last post was about all the things mono had potentially ruined. Granted, it does suck and I'm going stir crazy because I feel fine, more or less, a little more tired, BUT I can't do anything because then my body shuts down for a day.

ANYWAYS...

I need to start looking ahead..to what's gonna be. to what could be...and stop complaining and start counting my blessings. There's alot out there that I can get pretty pumped about. I'm getting a brother-in-law..a very cool one at that. My sister's getting married (hence the brother-in-law). My cousin's getting married to a good guy. My other cousin is getting married to a, what I can only assume is a very nice, girl. (I really don't know her...at all. Like, not even her name. But he lives 3 hrs away so you can't hold it against me.) There's other stuff I could list off but for time's sake, I'm not.

I just think we could all be a little bit happier and/or optimistic in our lives. You don't gotta walk around with a smile on your face because those people are the worst. We should, however, approach things with a better attitude. For example, now. It sucks outside. It's the first day of Spring and its dumping up to 6 inches of snow on us. But it's Spring. It's gonna get nice, sooner or later and before I know it, it's gonna be Summer. Boom, optimistic attitude achieved.

This is by no means meant to be a self help post..because those things are B.S. One book, written by one greedy dude, can't fix your problems...but that's another post for another day.

"Please do not be cynical. I hate cynicism, for the record it's my least favorite quality. It doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen."
-Conan O'Brien

Waiting ever so patiently

Yesterday I was diagnosed with a nasty little bugger called 'mono'. For those of you that don't know what it is, it's a virus that last FOREVER. Initial syptoms are sore throat, swollen glands, and the like. My right lymphnode was swollen to the point that I could barely swallow for two days. Then the 'acute phase' kicks in. This is where you're inherently worthless for a stretch of 10-14 days. Fever and major fatigue graces this two week stretch. Once that gem settles, you slowly recover for the next 2-6 weeks. Usually, the whole ordeal last about a month. Waiting for the storm of flu-like syptoms that is inevitably on its way can be compared to, o say, sitting in your room when you were little waiting, anticipating for the wrath of the parental units to make their presence known after you broke grandma's lamp. Anyways, here's what mono has complicated or ruined...

1. My fitness- Even once I start feeling better, they say I can't do any heavy lifting for 4, count 'em FOUR weeks, after symptoms subside. I was planning on getting back in the gym this week. Looks like that's not happening. This puts a damper on me training for the triathalon I plan(ned) on doing in June. Whatever..cardio isn't heavy lifting.
2. My education- My status as a student could be categorized as 'lack luster'. I don't need a sickness that promotes bed rest for days on end as another excuse not to do my work. I mean, I have tests, speeches, and projects due within the month. That and I'm almost a senior. I can't afford not to do well these last few semesters. Grabble grabble grabble...
3. My fundage- Cliche as it may sound, I'm a college student and I'm poor. I spend money on things that would fall under the 'want' side of the 'want/need' table that are way outta my range. Anyways, the only way this can be balanced out is my job. I called them today to break the bad news and they said,'well, that sucks. We'll take you off the schedule until the doctor says you're not contagious.' I can't financially go without a paycheck for a month without tapping into my savings which I really do not want to do since it's been dwindling o so quickly since the year started.
4. My 'wanting to do stuff in general'- It's starting to get nice out. The last thing I'll want to do is lay around all day while everyone else is basking in the sun. I guess I could pull up a lawn chair and zone out on the patio. I just hope I don't fall asleep and wake up 18 shades darker...although I am quite pale.
5. Lastly, My Plan- I had a plan. I can't disclose it, but it was a good plan. But now, because of mono, I can't go through with it until April, at the earliest. It was such an awesome plan and the timing would've been impecible (sp?). I guess I'll have to go to Plan B...whatever that may be.

So there it is. I needed to vent. Mono: suck it.