Proximity (cont'd)

Ok. I got it. Your proximity determines you to a certain extent...and that extent is only to the point that you allow it to. Say you lived Arkansas. You grew up in a lower class family, a family that was less tolerant to other views. While you were growing up, you probably molded to those values. But then, once you grew up to your teens and were exposed to the outside world and all that it has to offer, you make a decision. You either alter those values that your proximity forged via your family and their values or you keep going with the 'norm' aka the way it's been your whole life. Once you reach a certain maturity, you make that decision and stick with it...until you feel like doing something differently. I think that makes sense. This is a process we're constantly going through and I think it's the basis of the want/need for change.

There.

Man...I don't even know if that made sense....

Dueces

Will Work for Food

Being poor sucks. As a college student, I had never felt the pinch of the penny until recently, particularly within the past few months. My first two years in school were cushioned with help from the parentals but now that I'm all grown up (as they say...some-including myself-may think otherwise) I'm left to my own defenses. I've never known what 'living paycheck to paycheck' feels like until now. Grocery shopping is a drag. I'm real hesitant to go out to eat unless I'm spending less than 8 bucks. Shoot, I've even made a list of cheap, yet healthy, foods. As depressing as this may sound though, I'm enjoying it. I want to see how I do. I'm interested to see the lessons I learn so if and when I strike it rich, I won't forget the struggle that will make all this nonsense worth it.

Ps. Still working on the 2nd part of "Proximity"...and by still working, I mean, I've hit a bit of a road block

On Proximity

Does proximity determine you, or do you determine your proximity? I use the word proximity because that's more of an 'umbrella' term for time, place, etc...the word location is too limiting. I ask this because it brings up some interesting points. Our proximity to things, to locales, to people determines who we are. One might even argue that it has a very heavy influence on your beliefs and values. That said, however, couldn't it be said that we reach a certain point where the tables are turned? By that, I mean, I think we all reach a point in our lives where we decide if we are gonna let this proximity, this intangible tie we have to our surroundings, hold us down. "Hold us down" seems a bit harsh. It's not necessarily bad to stick to your roots. It's just alot harder to leave your mark. I...think there's alot to be said about this, but I got to sleep because there's German material that's not going to study itself tomorrow morning. I'll be back to talk more...

For now,
Yours truly

Boop

I filled out an application for Sunflower Outdoor and Bike shop today. One of the questions asked me to tell them a joke. Now this is a company I see myself working with....

O yea, my joke was pretty simple. I just said Sarah Palin's chances of winning the presidency.

Adam and Sara-

It's a bit overdue but I feel it's better late than never...

And I probably coulda done this via pen and paper or face to face but c'mon...its 2010 yo!

First off, a big CONGRATULATIONS to Sara and Adam on taking the leap. You are now officially a happy couple that statistically has around 50 percent chance of ending in divorce..... But that's not gonna happen. You two can rest assured that you will, in fact, make it. For a gamble that only follows through half the time, you guys have managed to count the cards and walk away with the all the spoils. And here's why...

You two are the perfect opposites for each other yet those opposites complement each other perfectly. Adam- you're like me. You procrastinate. You don't get worked up over the small stuff. You sit back and think and relax and analyze and adapt. Sara- well...you're the polar opposite...haha. BUT it's not like that's a surprise. And for you, it works. Your lists, and your CAPS texts, and your over stuffed planner works for you and more importantly, it's balanced by Adams relaxed demeanor. If you two are thankful for anything in ya'lls relationship, Sara- be thankful for Adam's uncanny ability to read you, even when you haven't said a word, and make you feel like everything will work out fine...even when it might not. And Adam- count your blessing brother because those lists my sister insists on making will make your life SO much easier and organized.

Reason number two why you guys will be together forever: the people you've surrounded yourselves with. I had the privilege of meeting and interacting with your friends from school, icthus, and the Bluehouse. I forget who, but someone talked about the community you two create. He nailed it. You guys have an innate ability to draw quality people into your lives. I dunno how you do it but ya'll got it down to a science. And it's not just any people that are attracted to you two; they're, simply put, really cool, down to earth, people. I was amazed at how many people you two can truly consider close friends. That's something not alot of people get to experience. Like think of all the people eating the AMAZING Mexican food (sidenote-whenever your aunt cooks mexican food again for you two, I'm coming over for the leftovers..) at the rehearsal dinner. They were all within the title realm of 'best friend'. And there was ALOT of people in that room.

Lastly, and I hate to get all philosphical, BUT, you two not only believe in God and go through the process of going to church, give offerings, yadda yadda yadda. Don't get me wrong, those are all good and essential elements but you two take it a step further. You guys live your lives while keeping God in the forefront. The lessons ya'll learn in church and bible study are applied and utilized in your everyday life, a practice that's easy to say you're going to do, but actually going through with it is a different ballgame. You two do it effortlessly.

So yea...there's that. You two are great together. Don't let anyone say different. And as much as I may joke about you two being old and boring and married and stuff, please please please don't forget to have fun because once you stop having fun, your relationship becomes a chore instead of a blessing. You guys are with each other for a reason so get out there and create, or influence, or teach, or fix, or provoke, or whatever you do. Just do something. This relationship is an opportunity so make the most of it. I'm pretty excited to see what ya'll are capable of as a couple and I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say, once again, CONGRATS!

Love you both,
Brian

On thankfulness

Cynicism is a killer. Trust me, I know. It's ironic; I like to keep things in a realistic perspective. What's a 'realistic' perspective? Yea, I really don't know. To me, it has seemed to be along the lines of knowing something could always be better, or something could always go wrong...no matter how great the occasion is. After some thought, however, I've concluded this is not realistic. This is just depressing. It seems like keeping it 'real' or being 'realistic' has been skewed to the point of being cynical...and I hate cynicism. It's annoying and it's depressing and it sucks the life out of...life.

That sounded cheesy. But do you get what I'm getting at?

Take me for example this- My last post was about all the things mono had potentially ruined. Granted, it does suck and I'm going stir crazy because I feel fine, more or less, a little more tired, BUT I can't do anything because then my body shuts down for a day.

ANYWAYS...

I need to start looking ahead..to what's gonna be. to what could be...and stop complaining and start counting my blessings. There's alot out there that I can get pretty pumped about. I'm getting a brother-in-law..a very cool one at that. My sister's getting married (hence the brother-in-law). My cousin's getting married to a good guy. My other cousin is getting married to a, what I can only assume is a very nice, girl. (I really don't know her...at all. Like, not even her name. But he lives 3 hrs away so you can't hold it against me.) There's other stuff I could list off but for time's sake, I'm not.

I just think we could all be a little bit happier and/or optimistic in our lives. You don't gotta walk around with a smile on your face because those people are the worst. We should, however, approach things with a better attitude. For example, now. It sucks outside. It's the first day of Spring and its dumping up to 6 inches of snow on us. But it's Spring. It's gonna get nice, sooner or later and before I know it, it's gonna be Summer. Boom, optimistic attitude achieved.

This is by no means meant to be a self help post..because those things are B.S. One book, written by one greedy dude, can't fix your problems...but that's another post for another day.

"Please do not be cynical. I hate cynicism, for the record it's my least favorite quality. It doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen."
-Conan O'Brien

Waiting ever so patiently

Yesterday I was diagnosed with a nasty little bugger called 'mono'. For those of you that don't know what it is, it's a virus that last FOREVER. Initial syptoms are sore throat, swollen glands, and the like. My right lymphnode was swollen to the point that I could barely swallow for two days. Then the 'acute phase' kicks in. This is where you're inherently worthless for a stretch of 10-14 days. Fever and major fatigue graces this two week stretch. Once that gem settles, you slowly recover for the next 2-6 weeks. Usually, the whole ordeal last about a month. Waiting for the storm of flu-like syptoms that is inevitably on its way can be compared to, o say, sitting in your room when you were little waiting, anticipating for the wrath of the parental units to make their presence known after you broke grandma's lamp. Anyways, here's what mono has complicated or ruined...

1. My fitness- Even once I start feeling better, they say I can't do any heavy lifting for 4, count 'em FOUR weeks, after symptoms subside. I was planning on getting back in the gym this week. Looks like that's not happening. This puts a damper on me training for the triathalon I plan(ned) on doing in June. Whatever..cardio isn't heavy lifting.
2. My education- My status as a student could be categorized as 'lack luster'. I don't need a sickness that promotes bed rest for days on end as another excuse not to do my work. I mean, I have tests, speeches, and projects due within the month. That and I'm almost a senior. I can't afford not to do well these last few semesters. Grabble grabble grabble...
3. My fundage- Cliche as it may sound, I'm a college student and I'm poor. I spend money on things that would fall under the 'want' side of the 'want/need' table that are way outta my range. Anyways, the only way this can be balanced out is my job. I called them today to break the bad news and they said,'well, that sucks. We'll take you off the schedule until the doctor says you're not contagious.' I can't financially go without a paycheck for a month without tapping into my savings which I really do not want to do since it's been dwindling o so quickly since the year started.
4. My 'wanting to do stuff in general'- It's starting to get nice out. The last thing I'll want to do is lay around all day while everyone else is basking in the sun. I guess I could pull up a lawn chair and zone out on the patio. I just hope I don't fall asleep and wake up 18 shades darker...although I am quite pale.
5. Lastly, My Plan- I had a plan. I can't disclose it, but it was a good plan. But now, because of mono, I can't go through with it until April, at the earliest. It was such an awesome plan and the timing would've been impecible (sp?). I guess I'll have to go to Plan B...whatever that may be.

So there it is. I needed to vent. Mono: suck it.