That's the stuff...

Living In All CAPS

2011-05-12T09:34:00.000-07:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, my sister:

By all means, please introduce yourself.

Oh hey there. I'm the Big Sister. I like coffee, reading, writing, making lists, and annoying my little brother. Just kidding. (Kind of.)

What's your favorite thing about being married?

Living with my bff. Preshy presh, I know. haha. But seriously, there's something so fun about being with someone who knows every aspect of your life. Like one minute, I may want to tell someone about that weird person at work today and the next, need a hand to squeeze when I get really bad news. And for me, the person that I go to first with both of those things is Adam. Also, he's really freaking funny so that keeps things entertaining. Oh! And as newlyweds (are we still considered newlyweds when we just started year #2?), it has been (mostly) fun to discover each other's idiosyncrasies (of which, Adam has more than me, OBVIOUSLY).

Haha right...

Do you see yourself stickin around KC?

Hmm I don't know. I'm not much of a planner. (Haha. Okay fine, FINE! I'm Type A and proud of it!) But anyway, I don't see us moving anytime soon and I'd guess that we'll be Midwesterners for life. As far as specifically KC, well, we're here now. And that's all I have to say about tha-at.

Good. Mom will like having you close. Plus, you guys can come to my bar!

Lemme preface by saying 'puke' BUT what was/were the moment(s) that you knew you and Adam were in it for the long-haul?

Let me preface this by saying I hope you vomit big time.
Well we were best friends for years before we started dating, which made things interesting. I would say:
-When I read through old journals and realized I had (unknowingly) written pages about him
-When we weren't dating and it sucked
-When he met the fam and passed with flying colors--especially with you and Grandma. That meant a lot.
-When he was in India for a summer and I was about to lose my mind
-When, after icky fights and an emotional breakdown or two (ha), we were both still all in.
I remember Mom saying something once about how when she and Dad were dating there just came a time when she couldn't imagine life without him and didn't want to. That's pretty much what it comes down to, I think.

Well said...Legit.

What're you reading currently?

I am in the market for a good book, actually. Adam and I are about to start this book, which I'm excited about. And I just finished this book, which was interesting but creepy. Lately, I've just been reading a lot of Real Simple. I know. I'm cool.

What comes after the library?

For now, I'm kicking around the idea of becoming a for-real librarian (which means a masters in library science and information technology...which means $$$, no sleep and even more caffeine...haha). Or maybe I'll just become fantastically famous writing stories about you...er, I mean...life as I know it. haha. (I wish.)

What is the next overseas excursion?

We have a few places on our mind, but I'd put my money on India. Just not this year because we need a little thing called funds. haha.

Favorite quote/story/etc... from mom and dad. (There's kids listening so keep it PG..haha)

Mom: All the times we'd try really hard to get her to really lose it laughing. It was a group effort and well worth it because it is hilarious. Also of all the funny phrases she uses: "Oh my stars!" " Oh, you dog!" and "My dogs are barkin" are the first to come to mind but there are quite a few. haha.
Dad: Riding around in his truck belting out "Wild Thing!" And against my better judgment, I have to say that his prank that Christmas when he conspired with the mall Santa Clause to fool his innocent, doe-eyed daughter into thinking that maybe Santa was real after all was pretty good. (I mean, if it were true, but since the video is lost in translation, we just can't be sure. haha)
Brian: The image of you riding your bike against the wind. Okay that is only funny to me. And actually mean. But I had to throw it in there. As Adam would say, my "big sister is showing." haha.

***I'm almost certain there was at least an F4 tornado that night. Who wouldn't have leaped off their bike, running (crying, screaming, ya know...) to the house that was half a block away?? Perfectly logical...and rational...riiiiight?***

First thing to go through your mind when I said I dropped out?First impressions...etc..

I think it went something like this:
1. What the crap.
2. How did I not know?!
3. When did my little brother grow up?!
4. How is everyone in the room handling this?
5. ...This will be an interesting lunch (ha).
I didn't see it coming, so I was surprised and let's be honest, I work hard to "be in the know" so it was definitely a shocker. I remember trying to take everything in and asking a few questions initially, but then realizing that all that matters right now is that you know I am on your side and want you to be happy. (insert long distance hug)

Ha thanks. Yea sorry for keeping you in the dark. The original plan was to tell you and Adam. It was gonna be practice for Mom and Dad haha. Turns out it didn't work out that way. Who knew Mom could shoot such ice crystals from those sweet little eyes of hers?? haha

Quick. Chocolate or conversation? (And I'm talkin REAL GOOD CHOCOLATE.)

Not enough information! Conversation with who? And did I have chocolate for breakfast or have I not yet had my dose of sugar for the day? ...Umm...I'm going to say conversation (but secretly think WHAT KIND OF CHOCOLATE?!).

Fair enough. I should've been more specific...

For all of us 20-somethings, what's your advice on growing-up?

First and foremost, EXCUSE ME. I am STILL a twenty-something thankyouverymuch. (Rude.) It's weird because I feel like I am in no place to be offering advice since I feel far from having things "figured out".
I've been learning lately that I'll always be learning. Maybe that sounds like a cop out but honestly, I think that it's a big deal to be able to shift your thinking from "okay life is about ticking A, B, C, and D off my list and in that order, so let's get started" to "okay life is ever-changing, sometimes crappy, full of questions and a work in progress." That's too simplistic, of course, and I don't actually live like I believe it every day, but it is part of growing up, or it is for me. I think it's important to identify what will be your anchor, your hope, your motivation early on because there will be times when that's all that will keep you going.
I think, too, that it is easy to believe that life is all me, me, me--what do I want out of this, how is this for me, what about my wants/needs/goals/priorities/etc. but that really shouldn't be the case. There are lots of people in this world and you're going to miss out on a lot (and in my opinion, the best things) when you put those blinders on. Sure, we all have individual needs and passions and especially as 20-somethings, the stakes are lower so we can take risks, we can explore our interests and put ourselves out there without putting as much on the line (most don't have families to support, mortgages, etc.).
I guess what I'm trying to say--brevity is not my strong point--is that those are fine things to explore and I am totally not trying to squelch any desire to be creative, or work hard for a goal or really examine what is important for you as an individual. But do it all in community and keep the community in mind. Surround yourself with those who are older and wiser...and listen to them. Invest in those that are younger. Befriend those who will be honest with you and want the best for you. And remember that you have something to offer the world--and your gift is not given for you to merely keep to yourself.
(((Bumper stickers coming soon--haha.)))

Haha didn't mean to insinuate you weren't a 20-something. Don't worry...you're not (that) old.

When's the next 5K???

You tell me. I'll sign up when Dad does. (And you'll both beat me. Dang it.)

Bring it.

Excellent. If that didn't make you LOL or ROLF or whatever the kids are saying these days, I don't know what will. Thanks Sara. You're a pal. Much love.

Brian

To Whom It May Concern

2011-04-24T22:54:00.000-07:00

Why do the worst things happen to the best of people?

I think I can answer that with a fairly simple answer: there are those who think they know what's best, what is 'right', and roll with it.

My mom will be laid off in little over a month due to a decision the conservative governor chose to make. Because of his consolidation of state agencies, my mom will be fresh out of work. My mom will be filling out applications, going through interviews, in hopes of finding something that will suffice as a steady, comparable income to what she had.

I'm gonna argue at the most basic of human values...forget business and bureaucratic BS. I'm arguing as the son of a mother who was laid off due to budget cuts that are supposed to help us. With that, Mr. Brownback, I say GO TO HELL. How dare you decide my mom's near future with the wave of your Republican wand. Is the legislature so wrapped out your finger that they refuse to refute such an outrageous decision? Is it true that while the people think they hold a certain power, the sad, sad fact is that it's all up to the select few who seem to hardly have the balls to stand up to such a poor excuse of a leader. Tell me, sir, is that what you're telling me, because your actions are pointing that direction.

No matter what the argument is that one can come up with, the fact remains that you hurt my mom and I will not be beaten down by some conservative prick like you. I would love to hear you explain yourself in front of me and my family and tell us, with all certainty, that this is worth it. Tell my mom the struggle she will face is worth the past 30 some years she's worked. Tell my dad he shouldn't feel obligated to work more in order to provide for his wife when he's already working two jobs as it is. Tell my sister she doesn't need to worry, being the kind, caring person she is, about my mom and her future. Make her alright with the fact that her mother is being kicked to the curb. Give me a reason to hope...and don't bullshit with me. Give my mom a job. Give her options. Don't just leave her out to dry. She doesn't deserve that.

The hard decisions you have to make are hardly a scrape to your elbow compared to the hole you leave in us that are actually effected. Step down from you pedestal and open your eyes. You're going to find yourself horribly alone if you keep this kind of policy up...and rightfully so. Then you might actually gain some insight in the mind of the hopeless, in the mind of the laid off, in the mind of the families effected by this consolidation, in the mind of your citizens.

I know this sounds depressing and hopeless but you can thank the governor for that. It's his product and who am I to refuse credit where credit is due?

Brian

Ink

2011-04-08T22:34:00.000-07:00

I'm gonna get another tattoo Thursday.

CAN'T WAIT.

It's going on the 'pale part' of my fore-arm and it's gonna kick ass.

Check it out. It's gonna rock your socks.

This will work.

2011-04-02T00:20:00.000-07:00

So I'm sitting here, by myself, listening to some music that demands some introspection, eating my cereal, at 2:30 in the morning, and all I can think to myself is "This will work...right?".

For those of you that are so horribly misinformed, see this.

Is this what I saw comin'?

Uh....no. This is not.

BUT I'm fine with it...Well, I've come to accept it. An overwhelming feeling of guilt has crept up on me. I was used to the cookie-cutter schedule that college presented: Wake up. Go to class. Lunch. Class. Take the bus home. Nap. Snack. Go out/work out/do something, anything. Rinse and repeat. That was my life.

Now it seems my schedule has been reduced down to nothing. I go to work when I need to. Aside from that, I try to make sure I'm up at a decent time. I try to do something productive during the day and I go to work. I do this all in hopes of a dream or vision or whatever, of opening up a bar. I do this with the mindset of "this will work."

This idea.

This concept.

This potentially devastating leap.

This will work.

Grabble Grabble Grabble

2011-03-11T07:40:00.000-08:00

After serving for the past 8 months, I've come to a profound realization: People suck. There are those 'gems' out there that love to complain, thus love making your life a living hell at their expense. This concept was embodied by a rather large lady I had the privilege of serving a few nights back. Here's the run-down...

There were six middle aged women, all of which looked a little on the trashier side so I wasn't expecting much (Yea, yea, that sounds mean, but you learn to trust your superficial instincts). From the start, they seemed nice enough. It was Martini night so they all got a round of martinis and some salads and whatnot. One select, aforementioned lady wanted a straw for her water. I was pretty busy so I forgot to bring it the next time around. Whatever, she'll live. Finally I remembered to bring it and I joked, "About time, eh?". She laughed and said something, I can't really remember.

So by the time they were on their second round, it was about 11, and my manager said I could be cut. With that, I went to their table and told em I was about to leave so they could close out with me or I could transfer their tab to the bar. They decided to close out. I brought them their check, they gave me their cards, I ran 'em, and brought 'em back. I decided to go by the table and swipe their closed out checks because they were taking forever to get up. I get back to the computer and realize I am one check short but wasn't too concerned since I figured it was hidden somewhere on the table, plus I was just pissed because they all were God-awful tippers. I went back after they left to look for it. I found it. It was face down, halfway hidden. I turn it around and NOT ONLY did the lady leave me roughly 9%, but on the top corner, the ticket read 'Pretty bad service...'.

Listen here Plus Sized (oooo...too mean?), I understand I was a little busy so I'm sure my service may not have been pristine, HOWEVER, if it was TRULY that bad, why not tell me? Or not tip me at all? Or just leave it at the 9% tip? That obviously sent a pretty clear message. You realize I have 20 other drunk people that want my undying attention and service that I have to tend to. You realize I'm making 2.13/hr so tipping a dollar on a $20 or $25 tab is a travesty. You realize that writing 'pretty bad service' does nothing productive, in fact, it just makes me resent a-holes like you THAT much more. Wait no, resent isn't a fair verb. I think loathe is a little more appropriate.

If I was addicted to nicotine, YOU'D be the reason I smoke. If I was an alcoholic, YOU'D be the reason I drink. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for making my work-life that much harder. I hope you're not like this in other aspects of your life, or else you are going to be a very lonely, lonely person.

I think there's some traffic outside. Go play in it.

PEACE,

Brian

Nom Noms

2011-03-10T10:19:00.000-08:00

I recently started drinking V8. I remember as a kid it tasting like death. However, with my more 'esteemed' taste buds, I have grown to like it. Whether or not it just reminds me of Bloody Mary's is not the issue (however I do love me some Bloody Mary's...especially Louise's West's).

On a side note, I'm on day 5 of living on my own. So far, so good. It's a little strange but I don't mind it. I'm working so much I really hardly notice it. It's the days off, such as yesterday, that I really get restless but I'll manage...usually by either cleaning, playing my music (ps. just got a new snare. SUPER excited for it..), reading, or watching Scrubs, as of late. I suppose there's worse things I could be doing to occupy my time. I'm just waiting for it to get nice out so I can get out and ride.

Aaaand that's about all I got for today. Nothing too in depth or philosophical but due to a request from someone, I was told to write more...which isn't a bad thing, I don't think. So there's that.

Brian

ps. Might I mention that the above link is the first successful one I've EVER put up in the blog. High fives all 'round! YEA!

The Question

2011-03-07T22:53:00.000-08:00

"So how does it feel now that you're not having to go to class and take tests? I bet you're loving it," says generally everyone that I call my friends and acquaintances.

This question, while seeming pretty obvious at the shallowest of levels, actually packs a little punch. Here's why...

When people think of dropping out of school they automatically jump to the conclusion of freedom to do whatever you want. They/I think/thought that the chains of a 'broken educational system (blah..blah..blah)" have been lifted. They can do anything. Anything.

Oooooo sh*t.

Yea, ummm that's terrifying.

By dropping out, I'm throwing myself out to my own devices, instruments that haven't really been tested for such strenuous conditions. By dropping out, I forfeited my supposed safety net. By dropping out, I alienated myself from my peers and got tossed in that group that everyone knew they weren't going anywhere anyways. By dropping out, I slapped a scarlet letter on my chest. By dropping out, I, from the looks of the previous few sentences, have become a little dramatic.

By dropping out, I made the biggest decision of my life...thus far. But don't you think I know this? I know I brought this on myself, stigma and all. I know that I have potentially become a disappointment. Trust me.

When I'm asked this question of 'how awesome it must feel to drop out', yea it's great but it's also alot to handle. It's hard to justify that decision when you struggle to stay busy throughout the day when you know everyone else is going to classes. It's hard to rationalize with people this decision when you have nothing to show for it, and probably won't for the next few years. It's hard to feel good about a decision that has just as much of a chance for failure as it does success...if not more.

But....I'm growing up and I'm learning and I'm realizing I gotta make my own silver lining if there's none to be had in the immediate future. My confidence in the abstract is slowly surpassing my reliance on the concrete. I'm basing my future on an idea, not a degree.

Opening yourself up to any life you want, while great and freeing (if that's a word) and daring, is also scary as hell.

With all that said, rest assured I fully plan on NOT failing but sometimes, a brotha's gotta vent. Can I get an AMEN! (*Amen*)

Good. Night.

Brian

Get. Out. Of...TOWN!

2011-02-10T11:22:00.000-08:00

I've noticed something about my generation. We don't stay put. Whether we're chasing cheap thrills, escaping our past, or pursuing a new life (career, family, etc..) we rarely stay in one place for too long. I know I don't write in my blog often, but I think a semi-common theme in it, as a whole, is change. Aptly so, I think. After all, I am 22. I think its natural though. Take your hometown for example. (I'm speaking generically, so for all you exceptions out there...shut it. You're ruining my argument.) You go to elementary school, middle school, and highschool in the same town. Then you graduate. Now what? For the majority, we get the hell outta Dodge. We go to college, to a new town, to a new experience. Anything but here. After college, then what? Grad school? A career? Pack your bags kids, it's time to go.

We are always on the move...never comfortable with the present situation we're in.

I'm a prime example. In less than 2 months, I may be moving to Florida for 6 months. Why? For one, I need to make money for the bar, which is at the forefront. Two, it's something different. It's something I can tell people. It'll make a nice conversation piece.

This is not to say that I'm over Lawrence. I love Lawrence. I love the people, the town, and the experiences it has to offer.

The same can't be said about Topeka (my hometown). Yes I grew up there and I suppose I still consider it home, as my parent still live there and where they are, home is. With that said, I had to get outta there. Topeka is a place that will suck you in if you aren't careful. I think hometowns can be spoken for in that regard in general though. There's a fine line between jet-setting somewhere and giving up on a place. I'll be the first to say that I gave up on Topeka. It hardly tends to my needs.

This potential move to Florida has made me think alot of finding the good in places. Realizing I may be away from Lawrence for the better part of a year has made me come to grips with the fact that I enjoy my present situation, that is the people I've surrounded myself with and the places I've been. Why would I leave that? (see above..)

While I agree one should escape in order to better themselves, that same person has to give their current location a chance. I gave Topeka a chance. I realized all it has to offer. What I want, Topeka could not produce. I look at some of my friends still stuck there (stuck may be a bit brash) and think, "Man, sucks for them". But, those that are still in Topeka, maybe they found their niche? Maybe they found their place. I hope they have.

Where you are now, may not be where you are forever. Duh...But at the same token, where you are now, you have to find something worth sticking around for. If you can't, get outta there.

And that's that. Cliche's aside, the pursuit of happiness is very much dependent on where you are and if you aren't happy where you're at, then I'd say that chase isn't going too well.

Alcohol and writing goes together wonderfully....

Brian

And that's that

2011-01-29T09:17:00.001-08:00

I dropped out of school.

Scratch that...I decided I was finished (thanks Kanye).

Before you write me off with that stigma of a college drop out, rest assured that I have a plan. I have a plan to open a bar with my best friend. I have a plan to do something that I want to do....not what other people think I should do.

I'm not gonna get into the details, but just know that I am perfectly happy and incredibly excited about the decision I made. So before you assume the worst about me and my decision, ask yourself, 'are you excited about your future? What are YOU doing about it?'

Sorry school...we both knew this wasn't gonna last anyways. It's better we cut our losses now.

Brian

Sir Palauniuk

2011-01-16T00:28:00.000-08:00

May I never be complete.

May I never be content.

May I never be perfect.

Words to live by my friends...words to live by.

Here's to you, Little Lady..

2011-01-09T23:12:00.000-08:00

So we carried the casket- YOUR casket- to a spot nestled right by Pete's. We carried you to your spot and lowered you down. With a few last words, we got back in our cars and drove away knowing full well, the severity of it all had yet to show us its true power.

And I have a pretty good idea where you are now, but I don't care. I just want you back.

Until next time Grandma,

Brian

Here's hopin

2010-10-18T21:24:00.000-07:00

Here's hopin that tomorrow goes just as well (and might I say, better) as I will have hoped.

Here's hopin that there are many more weekends just the like that one we just had.

Here's hopin we may all experience the success we all want, even if it looks like a failure in they're eyes.

Here's hopin you don't let that stop you.

Here's hopin that I cross that line with my legs still in tact next month.

Here's hopin you do too (Sara haha).

Here's hopin that not taking this whole 'school' thing too seriously will actually work out.

Here's hopin that this whole 'school' thing doesn't swallow up those who do.

Here's hopin that we don't forget to remember whats actually worth remembering...and forget what's worth forgetting.

Here's hopin we don't forget what we should remember, and remember what we should forget.

Here's hopin that didn't confuse you.

Happy Monday everyone,

Brian

Twice as nice

2010-09-01T21:37:00.000-07:00

1. Ralph

I did it. I took the plunge. Two weeks ago I went to the Lawrence Humane Society and rescued a little 2 month old Lab/Shepherd mix named Ralph. Actually, his original name was Ricki but that's an awful name for a dog...or anyone for that matter. I had been wanting a dog for quite some time, and I figured now was as good of time as any. Admittedly, I really didn't know what I was getting myself into. But I've always been a fan of not fully knowing what to expect, so of course I went with it and adopted a rambunctious, little punk of a dog. But I love him, and his motion sickness, and his numerous accidents, and his ripping up the linoleum floor, and his 3:45 AM whining sessions, and all that comes with being a puppy owner. It's an experience that is keeping me on my toes constantly...and I'm thoroughly enjoying it.

2. As promised...

I said I'd elaborate on a few things on the previous post (or was it the one before the previous?), specifically me teaching myself the piano. I have taken piano lessons, and I do know a little bit about music, but I still feel like I'm starting from scratch. That said, I'm kind of kickin ass at it...I couldn't tell you much about piano theory, or play you a diminished third (actually, yes, I think I could), or even tell you about the circle of fifths, BUT I don't really think I need to be able to do that stuff to make music. Maybe if I was teaching music, then I might need to know a little about it, but I'm not, so I won't waste my time. I'm in the process of making, or composing, something. It's all in the dome right now, and chances are it's not gonna make it to paper BUT what I've got so far is pretty tight. So yea, I think I'm well on my way to being able to tell people 'Hi. My name is Brian...and yes, I play the piano.' Chicks love that...right?

Brian

Don't push my...

2010-08-21T19:27:00.000-07:00

...Buttons.

I was stumbling (cue drums) on stumbleupon *ba dum ching* today and found an article about one of the most used placebos in America. Conveniently, I can't find the website so...sorry.

It talked about how we, as a Western Civilization, feel an entitlement, a feeling of empowerment, when we push a button. We expect something to happen. We press the doorbell button and it rings. We push the 'up' button on the elevator and it lights up and acknowledges that we are wanting to ascend. There's some physiological or psychological or something-rather process that goes on in our heads that actually gives us a sense of accomplishment when we press these buttons.

However, when it comes to certain things, the buttons are just there for our pure amusement. Like the 'close the door faster' button in an elevator. Due to some Disability Act of some sort, this button doesn't actually make the door shut any faster than it usually does. However, when we push it, it seems to shut faster thus giving us the satisfaction of being in control. Another example is the button on the crosswalk. Something like 9 times out of ten, it's not gonna work. Why's it there? It probably did work at some point in the past, but now it doesn't and it wouldn't be cost effective to fix. One last example it gives is the infamous thermostat. Companies will go at great lengths to install fake thermostats in the offices to ensure their employees they're in control of their heat or cooling. If they turn it because they're too hot/cold, they feel better, even though it literally did nothing to the actual heating/cooling unit. But hey, it keeps them from complaining.

Not only is this an interesting story, it brings up a good point. No matter how much you feel you're in control, you're not. You might press that button, and the end result might happen, or at least it will feel like it did, but you really had nothing to do with it. We press these buttons in hopes of it actually having an effect on our lives but the final product might not be as much of our hard work as we'd hope. This isn't as depressing as it sounds. It's just a nice reminder that while we do need to work on achieving what we desire, we need to remember there's other people out there that have much more of an influence on that final product than what we think.

Hey look. I found it...

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2QkHks/youarenotsosmart.com/2010/02/10/placebo-buttons/

This...not that.

2010-08-16T23:03:00.000-07:00

Man. It's been a while. Quite a bit has happened since I last typed something...anything. Needless to say, I got alot to say. I'll spare the majority of the details or else this post would go for ever. I just need to get something down to get me back on the 'blogger' straight and narrow. So here goes...

1. My internship was not at all what I expected. It was pretty disappointing actually. But that's what you get when your boss (who shall remain nameless) is an-...I'll stop there.

2. I signed up for Netflix. It's gonna rock.

3. I moved into a new, much more conveniently located, duplex. It's awesome. Come check it out!

4. Cross your fingers for me. I'm trying to get a dog from the pound and haven't heard back from them. I hope the application was approved...

5. I'm trying to get in the habit of not buying anything at the grocery store contains things that A) a third grader couldn't pronounce B) I don't what it is and/or C) has more than 3-4 syllables. The only exception is cereal. Take my eyes but don't take my cereal.

6. This kinda ties in with a recent post by Sara...People are suckers. They fall into a trap of what's comfortable, or what they're used to. Try as you may, some are just doomed to a life of repeated decisions. But hey, you can't say we didn't try.

7. All the kids came back to Lawrence this past week/weekend. Classes start Thursday. It's funny to watch all the what-I-assume-to-be Freshman. They're so confident. They're so bright-eyed. They're so...blissfully unaware. What I like even better, however, are the ads in the paper for dorm room accessories. Does anyone else think those are completely ridiculous? There's always some sort vintage music poster on the wall and the bedding, the lamp, the rug, and the shag chair all match perfectly. WTF. Seriously? C'mon Kmart. Let's get real then maybe you wouldn't have to shut down a store every quarter.

8. Why did I just pick on KMart? I don't even shop there nor do I know of the last time I looked at their ads. Strange.

9. I'm helping out a drumline again this Fall WOO WOO! And I'm slowly teaching myself piano.

10. I think that's about it. I'll expand on some of these items later. Some, I'll just leave alone.

Until next time,

Brian

O dear...

2010-06-28T21:43:00.000-07:00

***First and foremost, I must warn you. This is written while, shall we say, 'under the influence'. But hey, it was wine night. What do you expect? You can't hold it against me. I just feel it necessary to give you, my loyal readers, a heads up. Take this post with a grain of salt, as they say (or five glasses of wine...actually, 4 glasses of Malbec and one very FULL glass of Pinot Noir..this did it for me. It's whatever you're in to). Enjoy.***

I need a business card.

I found out today that I, along with my bro' from another mo', will be giving a presention to a group of very important people about a world renown artist...or something like that. I'm not exactly sure who we're presenting to, or what we are even presenting about, but rest assured, we are basically a freelance ad agency.

So be jealous. I'm about to hit the big time. (more details to come...as they arrive).

***I just found this from a few nights ago. I thought the intro was awesome.

Polar

2010-06-15T21:50:00.000-07:00

Given my previous post...I feel it necessary to post something a bit more, shall we say, up-beat? I clearly stated something I hate. So what is something I like? That's a dumb question to ask. It's an ice breaker at some sort of orientation that's usually followed by "Um...I dunno. I just like hanging out with friends and like, relax with my friends and watch Glee (or whatever new hip tv show you may be watching)."

So what is something I truly and thoroughly enjoy?

I'm not gonna say music because that's a given. If you know me, then you know my feelings towards music.

I got it. I like...no. I love...no. I would put my life on the line for (cue roll)...
...
.....
......
.........
............
................
...................

Wait.

Laundry is done.

SUCKAS

They See Me Rollin'...

2010-06-14T21:35:00.000-07:00

***As a preface, this post is not meant to be uplifting...so if you're one of those 'look on the bright side' type of person, this may not be a leisurely read.***

I hate traffic.

I hate traffic lights. I hate stop signs. I hate other drivers.

I hate traffic.

Maybe it's due to my impatience, or my lack of optimism, but it is what it is. There is nothing fun; nothing enjoyable, about driving in traffic. I'm a completely different person when I'm behind the wheel. It's actually pretty terrifying. You can actually see my eyes turn to a deep, souless black as I buckle in.

Something about driving stresses me out. If I hit a red light, I instantly think "Man. This sucks. Could this light be any more inconsistent and biased against me?". If another driver is going slow, or is doing something I don't think they should be doing, I make it very apparent that I am not happy. Stop signs? They decrease gas mileage. I do stop, however. I can't afford a ticket BUT I still hate them.

I'm generally a very pleasent person outside the car, in every day life, so don't let this post fool you. Everyone has their pet peeve and mine is driving with idiots. There are times where I feel bad because maybe the moron behind the wheel isn't a moron at all. Maybe this person's situation warrants his lack of driving ability or general cognative activity. Maybe the wife is pregnant or maybe it's an emergency. These 'special occasion' scenarios do run through my mind as I fume with anger, but I figure that chances of them actually needing to drive like they're the only one on the road is slim to none. So they..can suck it.

Again, don't try to use some clever, positive, Mr. Brightside mentality on me. I'm set on my ways. I'm doomed to life full of mild road rage and empty, unwarranted rage to a complete stranger. It's not fair to them, no. But I don't care. Everyone should just read my mind and drive like I want them to. It shouldn't be that hard.

Wooooo sah....

There's the charm

2010-06-04T14:34:00.000-07:00

I'm driving down 6th street here in town (Lawrence) and I see this guy coming up in the opposite lane in a tractor. Nothing special. Then I see he's standing. Why would a guy driving a tractor in the middle of traffice be standing up? Well you see, he was standing out of necessity because how else are you gonna adjust yourself effectively? That's right people...Farmer Jon was playing pocket pool in the broad daylight, in the middle of traffic, while on a rusted tractor.

God bless America.

On Love...

2010-06-02T22:54:00.000-07:00

Gross.

I'm not exactly one to write on relationships but something struck a bit of a nerve tonight at work. It was horrifying. It sucked the hope out of everything good and decent. It. Was. Aweful. I couldn't help myself from staring. Here was this older couple (mid 50s) sitting together over a nice steak meal...and I mean nice. Steaks don't run cheap where I work. So yea, here they are sitting together over a meal and they are both ON THEIR PHONES! WTF? I understand if one of them glances at their mobile device BUT they were on their respective phones for at least 15 minutes straight, without so much as looking at each other. What a sh*t relationship. According to their server (my friend), that is the only basis for conversation. That's right. The pics and the GIF's and the LOL's on their phones were the only thing that sparked conversation among the two 'supposed' lovers.

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO SOCIETY???

This 'lack of face to face communication' wasn't supposed to set in until the generation preceding me came of age. What happened to this relationship, that they had to resort to such a ridiculous device in order to keep their 'relationship' alive?

I'm not one to say.

BUT. I can say, with every confidence, that whatever they have going on is not love. If they have nothing to talk about...then so be it. If they are truly soul mates, then they should be comfortable with the silence. In fact, they should embrace it. They should know that the lack of verbal communication is not a slight to their partner, nor is it anything personal. It's an affirmation that they know they don't have to say a word, yet they know what each other is thinking. Maybe not word for word...but they have a general idea.

It's sad to think that such a couple, whom I'm guessing has been together for quite some time, have to resort to such tactics in order to escaper their reality. A solid relationship should be your escape from your everyday shinanigans that you find yourself in. Your significant other should be your safety net. It should not be an everyday struggle. I think this is why alot of couples split. They feel the pressures of outside influences (which may lead back to Proximity??--who knows) and think they need to make it work. Some say a relationship takes work. I say, if it's meant to be, the relationship is fine where it is...it's the individual that needs the work.

A relationship shouldn't be forced. It should form out of what the two individuals find most important. Whether it be communication, networking, and/or, where they see themselves in the future...a relatinship is only as strong as the weakest link.

I dunno...I just thought it was sad to see such a seemingly happy, old couple sit down to a depressing, reality-checking (is that a word?) meal.

I hope this doesn't happen to me...or anyone I know. Because this...this is a distortion of what a loving relationship should be. This is fake and destructive.

I'm not one to say what your relationship should be but this (this old couple) is not it.

Soooo....best wishes out there!

-Brian

Proximity (cont'd)

2010-05-27T21:41:00.001-07:00

Ok. I got it. Your proximity determines you to a certain extent...and that extent is only to the point that you allow it to. Say you lived Arkansas. You grew up in a lower class family, a family that was less tolerant to other views. While you were growing up, you probably molded to those values. But then, once you grew up to your teens and were exposed to the outside world and all that it has to offer, you make a decision. You either alter those values that your proximity forged via your family and their values or you keep going with the 'norm' aka the way it's been your whole life. Once you reach a certain maturity, you make that decision and stick with it...until you feel like doing something differently. I think that makes sense. This is a process we're constantly going through and I think it's the basis of the want/need for change.

There.

Man...I don't even know if that made sense....

Dueces

Will Work for Food

2010-05-18T06:44:00.001-07:00

Being poor sucks. As a college student, I had never felt the pinch of the penny until recently, particularly within the past few months. My first two years in school were cushioned with help from the parentals but now that I'm all grown up (as they say...some-including myself-may think otherwise) I'm left to my own defenses. I've never known what 'living paycheck to paycheck' feels like until now. Grocery shopping is a drag. I'm real hesitant to go out to eat unless I'm spending less than 8 bucks. Shoot, I've even made a list of cheap, yet healthy, foods. As depressing as this may sound though, I'm enjoying it. I want to see how I do. I'm interested to see the lessons I learn so if and when I strike it rich, I won't forget the struggle that will make all this nonsense worth it.

Ps. Still working on the 2nd part of "Proximity"...and by still working, I mean, I've hit a bit of a road block

On Proximity

2010-05-09T22:55:00.000-07:00

Does proximity determine you, or do you determine your proximity? I use the word proximity because that's more of an 'umbrella' term for time, place, etc...the word location is too limiting. I ask this because it brings up some interesting points. Our proximity to things, to locales, to people determines who we are. One might even argue that it has a very heavy influence on your beliefs and values. That said, however, couldn't it be said that we reach a certain point where the tables are turned? By that, I mean, I think we all reach a point in our lives where we decide if we are gonna let this proximity, this intangible tie we have to our surroundings, hold us down. "Hold us down" seems a bit harsh. It's not necessarily bad to stick to your roots. It's just alot harder to leave your mark. I...think there's alot to be said about this, but I got to sleep because there's German material that's not going to study itself tomorrow morning. I'll be back to talk more...

For now,
Yours truly

Boop

2010-04-30T18:11:00.000-07:00

I filled out an application for Sunflower Outdoor and Bike shop today. One of the questions asked me to tell them a joke. Now this is a company I see myself working with....

O yea, my joke was pretty simple. I just said Sarah Palin's chances of winning the presidency.

Adam and Sara-

2010-04-26T22:01:00.000-07:00

It's a bit overdue but I feel it's better late than never...

And I probably coulda done this via pen and paper or face to face but c'mon...its 2010 yo!

First off, a big CONGRATULATIONS to Sara and Adam on taking the leap. You are now officially a happy couple that statistically has around 50 percent chance of ending in divorce..... But that's not gonna happen. You two can rest assured that you will, in fact, make it. For a gamble that only follows through half the time, you guys have managed to count the cards and walk away with the all the spoils. And here's why...

You two are the perfect opposites for each other yet those opposites complement each other perfectly. Adam- you're like me. You procrastinate. You don't get worked up over the small stuff. You sit back and think and relax and analyze and adapt. Sara- well...you're the polar opposite...haha. BUT it's not like that's a surprise. And for you, it works. Your lists, and your CAPS texts, and your over stuffed planner works for you and more importantly, it's balanced by Adams relaxed demeanor. If you two are thankful for anything in ya'lls relationship, Sara- be thankful for Adam's uncanny ability to read you, even when you haven't said a word, and make you feel like everything will work out fine...even when it might not. And Adam- count your blessing brother because those lists my sister insists on making will make your life SO much easier and organized.

Reason number two why you guys will be together forever: the people you've surrounded yourselves with. I had the privilege of meeting and interacting with your friends from school, icthus, and the Bluehouse. I forget who, but someone talked about the community you two create. He nailed it. You guys have an innate ability to draw quality people into your lives. I dunno how you do it but ya'll got it down to a science. And it's not just any people that are attracted to you two; they're, simply put, really cool, down to earth, people. I was amazed at how many people you two can truly consider close friends. That's something not alot of people get to experience. Like think of all the people eating the AMAZING Mexican food (sidenote-whenever your aunt cooks mexican food again for you two, I'm coming over for the leftovers..) at the rehearsal dinner. They were all within the title realm of 'best friend'. And there was ALOT of people in that room.

Lastly, and I hate to get all philosphical, BUT, you two not only believe in God and go through the process of going to church, give offerings, yadda yadda yadda. Don't get me wrong, those are all good and essential elements but you two take it a step further. You guys live your lives while keeping God in the forefront. The lessons ya'll learn in church and bible study are applied and utilized in your everyday life, a practice that's easy to say you're going to do, but actually going through with it is a different ballgame. You two do it effortlessly.

So yea...there's that. You two are great together. Don't let anyone say different. And as much as I may joke about you two being old and boring and married and stuff, please please please don't forget to have fun because once you stop having fun, your relationship becomes a chore instead of a blessing. You guys are with each other for a reason so get out there and create, or influence, or teach, or fix, or provoke, or whatever you do. Just do something. This relationship is an opportunity so make the most of it. I'm pretty excited to see what ya'll are capable of as a couple and I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say, once again, CONGRATS!

Love you both,
Brian

On thankfulness

2010-03-19T22:01:00.000-07:00

Cynicism is a killer. Trust me, I know. It's ironic; I like to keep things in a realistic perspective. What's a 'realistic' perspective? Yea, I really don't know. To me, it has seemed to be along the lines of knowing something could always be better, or something could always go wrong...no matter how great the occasion is. After some thought, however, I've concluded this is not realistic. This is just depressing. It seems like keeping it 'real' or being 'realistic' has been skewed to the point of being cynical...and I hate cynicism. It's annoying and it's depressing and it sucks the life out of...life.

That sounded cheesy. But do you get what I'm getting at?

Take me for example this- My last post was about all the things mono had potentially ruined. Granted, it does suck and I'm going stir crazy because I feel fine, more or less, a little more tired, BUT I can't do anything because then my body shuts down for a day.

ANYWAYS...

I need to start looking ahead..to what's gonna be. to what could be...and stop complaining and start counting my blessings. There's alot out there that I can get pretty pumped about. I'm getting a brother-in-law..a very cool one at that. My sister's getting married (hence the brother-in-law). My cousin's getting married to a good guy. My other cousin is getting married to a, what I can only assume is a very nice, girl. (I really don't know her...at all. Like, not even her name. But he lives 3 hrs away so you can't hold it against me.) There's other stuff I could list off but for time's sake, I'm not.

I just think we could all be a little bit happier and/or optimistic in our lives. You don't gotta walk around with a smile on your face because those people are the worst. We should, however, approach things with a better attitude. For example, now. It sucks outside. It's the first day of Spring and its dumping up to 6 inches of snow on us. But it's Spring. It's gonna get nice, sooner or later and before I know it, it's gonna be Summer. Boom, optimistic attitude achieved.

This is by no means meant to be a self help post..because those things are B.S. One book, written by one greedy dude, can't fix your problems...but that's another post for another day.

"Please do not be cynical. I hate cynicism, for the record it's my least favorite quality. It doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen."
-Conan O'Brien

Waiting ever so patiently

2010-03-02T20:21:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I was diagnosed with a nasty little bugger called 'mono'. For those of you that don't know what it is, it's a virus that last FOREVER. Initial syptoms are sore throat, swollen glands, and the like. My right lymphnode was swollen to the point that I could barely swallow for two days. Then the 'acute phase' kicks in. This is where you're inherently worthless for a stretch of 10-14 days. Fever and major fatigue graces this two week stretch. Once that gem settles, you slowly recover for the next 2-6 weeks. Usually, the whole ordeal last about a month. Waiting for the storm of flu-like syptoms that is inevitably on its way can be compared to, o say, sitting in your room when you were little waiting, anticipating for the wrath of the parental units to make their presence known after you broke grandma's lamp. Anyways, here's what mono has complicated or ruined...

My fitness- Even once I start feeling better, they say I can't do any heavy lifting for 4, count 'em FOUR weeks, after symptoms subside. I was planning on getting back in the gym this week. Looks like that's not happening. This puts a damper on me training for the triathalon I plan(ned) on doing in June. Whatever..cardio isn't heavy lifting.
My education- My status as a student could be categorized as 'lack luster'. I don't need a sickness that promotes bed rest for days on end as another excuse not to do my work. I mean, I have tests, speeches, and projects due within the month. That and I'm almost a senior. I can't afford not to do well these last few semesters. Grabble grabble grabble...
My fundage- Cliche as it may sound, I'm a college student and I'm poor. I spend money on things that would fall under the 'want' side of the 'want/need' table that are way outta my range. Anyways, the only way this can be balanced out is my job. I called them today to break the bad news and they said,'well, that sucks. We'll take you off the schedule until the doctor says you're not contagious.' I can't financially go without a paycheck for a month without tapping into my savings which I really do not want to do since it's been dwindling o so quickly since the year started.
My 'wanting to do stuff in general'- It's starting to get nice out. The last thing I'll want to do is lay around all day while everyone else is basking in the sun. I guess I could pull up a lawn chair and zone out on the patio. I just hope I don't fall asleep and wake up 18 shades darker...although I am quite pale.
Lastly, My Plan- I had a plan. I can't disclose it, but it was a good plan. But now, because of mono, I can't go through with it until April, at the earliest. It was such an awesome plan and the timing would've been impecible (sp?). I guess I'll have to go to Plan B...whatever that may be.

So there it is. I needed to vent. Mono: suck it.

Go Long!...

2010-02-12T23:04:00.000-08:00

"Hello. It's nice to see everyone again-O it looks like we have a new member. And what might your name be?"

"Uh..yea. Brian. Brian Shellenberger"

"Very nice to meet you Brian. Is there anything else you'd like to add?"

"Um...er-..yea. Uh, My-my name is Brian Shellenberger and I-I am not a sports fan."

That's right people. I, a 21 year old man (or young man), but man nonetheless, am not a sports fan. The little intro I came up is supposed to be like a support group, like AA, or drug rehab...just in case you didn't catch it. Clever, I know. Anyways, I know it may seem a bit blasphemous to modern day society, but it's the truth. I don't follow sports. I never have followed sports. And I never will. I like playing some of them but frankly, I have little interest in following them. I watch SportsCenter for the TopTen just as I read the newspaper for the Opinion section. I don't know what it is about em, I just can't keep interest in learning the latest poll standings, roster changes, or offensive coordinator transfer. Who cares? They're all gonna change in a year anyways, so why fill your mind with useless info that's going to be different in 12 months? Granted, I do follow KU Basketball a little since I do attend KU. I'd be crucified if I didn't. Also, I've always thought if (and when) I live in Europe, I will become a football (soccer to all you non-cultured Americans....just kidding. But seriously, that's what they call it so that's what Ima call it.) fan. Shoot, I'll probably be a football hooligan...maybe not. Soccer is a sport I've always wished I followed, just never have. But as for basketball, football, baseball (puke. baseball players-double puke), I could ultimately care less. I realize this puts me a bit on the outskirts of conversational topics among the 'bros' but who am I kidding?...I'm not your average dude....

I don't wanna grow up

2010-02-09T21:55:00.000-08:00

Writing resumes sucks. I was never one to be super involved with things that my school offered. Clubs, organizations, groups- none of 'em really struck a big enough nerve to gain (and keep) my attention. This fact has never been more apparent than now, while I'm writing this stupid list of accomplishments that is my RESUME. (And yes I know the last 'e' is in italics but I don't know how to put a little smudge mark above it to make it an 'ay' sound, rather than an 'e' or silent 'e' sound) Granted, I have a work (w)rap sheet (sp?) that could rival in length Santa's naughty or nice list (I don't know why I used a Christmas reference there...nor do I know why I'm using so many parantheses. If it's distracting, you can stop reading. I fully understand.). I mean, I've held a steady job since I was 14. I've been....-this is me inhaling as much air as I can in order to say this in one breath-....a concessions worker, an after school counselor, a summer camp counselor, a drumline instructor, a drum teacher (only for a lesson, but made 20 bucks off of it. I got paid. It was a job.), a sales associate at GAP, a teacher for kids who couldn't read (no lie), a moving specialist (hardest manual labor ever), a house-boy at a sorority, a bus boy, a door-guy, and soon I will be serving and hopefully bartending. I may not have the best GPA, and I may or may not be in any clubs or organizations but I'm a worker and a good one at that, if I may say so myself. I've dealt with such a broad range of people, I'm confident I could be dropped in any crowd, and be able to connect with them on some sort of level.
So my question to my next employer is this 'How do you choose your employee? Do you solely rely on a piece of paper to decide your next financial investment...afterall, that's what an employee is. Or do you dig a little deeper. Do you look past the traditional shortcomings like GPA, involvement in extracurricular activities, and the like, and look to see what kind of person wrote that resume?....I hope they dig.
Maybe I'm just a little aprehensive because, let's be real, this economy isn't getting any better any time soon. I just hope potential employers look past the paper, past the ink, and find out who I am and what I've done..good and bad. Where's the section for that??

A lil som'm, som'm...

2010-02-07T22:15:00.000-08:00

The Preacher-

and as i rose from the pew, the preacher caught me by surprise

he stared directly into my heart, he didn't bother with my eyes

he asked if i heard what he just said, it kinda put me in a bind

i said, 'im sorry pastor...i had an angel on my mind.'

O NO HE DIDNT!! O yes, I just did....

Wuh Oh...

2010-02-07T21:24:00.000-08:00

I have a few things I wanna address...

1) I was caught off guard earlier tonight. To be completely honest, it kind of scared the hell out of me. I was filling out some stupid extra credit survey for one of my classes and a question came up that went something along the lines of "do you regularly attend a religious service (i.e. weekly to bi-weekly)?" There was a 'yes' option and a 'no' option. Instinctively I went for the 'yes' but then I caught myself. I'd be lying to myself if I clicked yes. WTF? When did this transformation happen? I rarely skipped a Sunday service and now, I can't, in good faith (pun unintended), click 'yes'. What happened? Who happened? What changed? It was humbling and it was a little scary. The thought of 'Man, I really need to find a church here in Lawrence' has always been in the back of my mind but it never materialized. In a nutshell, I put 'going to church' on a mental post-it and treated it as though it was as important as getting new drumsticks or sunglasses. I'd need it eventually, but it's not that pressing of an issue. When did I allow myself to put God in the back seat?

2) Somewhat similarly, I've noticed a trend amongst some of the kids I went to high school with. I'm not sure how to approach the topic so I may come off a bit...brash. Shocking, I know. I dunno if it's all a part of growing up, but it seems as though the cool thing to do nowadays is to find God. Girls who could be compared to the Plastics on MeanGirls (just saw that today mind you...) and Guys who would give the Jersey Shore boys a run for their money are now posting Bible verses as their statuses on Fb. I mean, I guess it's a good thing. It's never too late to accept God and rely solely on Him for His grace and mercy BUT....I can't help but to think that this is just another piece in their fake, shallow, little lives. For the sake of their, well, salvation, I hope this is the real deal but if history could tell me anything, it would show that this is, in fact, just not going to last. Finding God isn't 'cool'. It's essential. I hope they realize this.

ps. I promise I'm not an angry person. It's all cupcakes and kittens on this side of the screen...

24 minutes and counting....

2010-01-20T22:27:00.000-08:00

The battery on my laptop says I have right around 24 minutes til it dies (give or take 10-12 minutes). I'm tired but don't wanna fall asleep quite yet so I'm writing.

Something I've noticed as of lately is a bit odd. I've noticed that I have a bad habit of looking a little angry when I walk into a place and I don't know anyone. I'm not proud of it...it's just something I've come to realize. Since when was it more socially acceptable to blankly look at someone as if they were a piece of sheetrock rather than smile and say hello? When did 'mean' become 'cool'. Granted, different situations call for different facial expressions. No one would walk into a funeral shining them pearly whites. Exceptions aside, it seems like I put on a front or a facade of toughness of some sort to avoid vulnerability when placed in unfamiliar settings. What if I dropped my guard and started to treat other people like actual, people? Looks like I need to work on my smile...

Home is where....the food is

2009-11-17T11:42:00.000-08:00

Now that I'm finally living out in the cruel cruel world in my OWN house, I've come to a realization: food has a very intergral role in making a home for yourself. For those that know me, they know my love of food. I love the taste of it. I love eating it constantly throughout the day. I just generally enjoy everything about food. That said, I might be coming to the subject with a little bit of a bias BUT everyone, I think, can agree that the food makes the home. Why do college kids go home when they're wittle bitty freshmen? To eat. Yes, everyone loves to see the parentals and what not, but I can say with some confidence that the main reason is to eat, and eat well. Gathering around the table, bar, tv tray with a hot meal in front of you has become an icon of the American family. Eating good food, in good company makes a house, or an apartment, or a shack with a toilet, a home. The satisfaction one gets from a hearty meal can warm up the loneliest of souls and it does it with ease. So go ahead school...bring on the stress. The work. The papers. As for you utility bills, well you'll be dealt with soon enough. Just give me a nice steaming pot of chili or a sizzling pan seared steak and I'll take care of the rest later...

Laughter is brightest where food is best. ----Irish Proverb

O.A.R.

2009-11-04T10:57:00.000-08:00

***It's been a while...I know. But I feel like I need to speak up given the recent events. This is a post in lieu of my sister's post...namely the political bit. If you haven't read it yet...check it-->
http://sas-sara.blogspot.com/2009/11/lukewarm.html***

My generation enjoys to be different. Have your own style. Listen to the newest, most underground band and know EVERYTHING about em so you can brag to your friends. Religion?...no thanks. Spiritualism?...hell yes. Democrat? Republican? Independent? Wait...what's the leading majority right now? I'll side with the minority. Yes, it seems as though we're out to 'one-up' everyone out there. If you aren't strugglin, you aren't livin! If you aren't one in a million, you're nothin. One of the most apparent aspects of our generation is our political savvy. We love to argue. We love to question- qualities every kid needs to have if they're gonna have a chance in the world. Most importantly we love the knowledge we acquire that backs these claims and arguments up. Again, a great quality for someone to have. However, we don't just talk...we take action. This is where a line of common sense and insanity seems to have been blurred.
I'll just come right out and say it. I wish Obama would kindly see himself to the door of the Oval Office and high tail it back to Chi Town. I don't agree with the majority of what he's done (or hasn't done) nor do I like the company he keeps. This feeling is shared among a growing population. The hatred for Obama felt by some Conservatives and Independents is, I believe, far greater than that felt for Bush by Liberals and Democrats. It's funny, because when Bush was in Office, I didn't really follow the news. But now that Obama is in, I can't stop watching it. What will he do today? What socialist did he confide in? So I'll be the first to say that I'm just as guilty as the next moderately conservative person who feels that they have to equip themselves with polls, expert opinions, and numerous analyses, in order to compete with constant flow of mainstream media. Did I do this out of legitmate concern for this country? Or did I fall into the trap of being different, or 'loving to hate'. This is a question I think everyone should whole heartedly ask themselves before preaching words of impeachment, assissination, or worse...revolution. If you think, like me, that this nation is going downhill, what do you think will happen if a slug goes through Obama's head?? Such measures would rip this country apart. Bi-partisanship would become so intense that smaller factions would start popping up. Revolution would seemingly be inevitable. Revolution isn't a word you can just toss around either. It's the dismantling of the country. The economy would plummet, or just cease to exist. Hospitals, schools, farms, every aspect we take for granted would be ripped away by OUR own doing. It wouldn't be some video game where you're running around some post-apocolyptic landscape saving the world. It would be a disaster and it's something our country, if ever there was an appropriate time, could not withstand. Saying you're 'pumped' or 'ready' for a revolution is a lie. You can't begin to understand the magnitude such an event would have.
I'm sure I'm gonna get alot heat for this from R's and D's alike. Again, I'd like to clearly state my stance. I think Obama is pulling this country down faster than his approval rates. I think impeachment or resignation is not so far fetched. If we can impeach a president for not being able to keep it in his pants, I think we can get rid of someone like Obama. HOWEVER, I do not think something like drastic such as assissination, revolution, or some sort of back woods martial law is at all appropriate. I'm all for action...politcal, logistical action. It's time for us to step back and ask what we truly stand for...not what is the newest or most unique. Once that is answered, go out and do something about it. Not with guns blazin, but with your words and with those standing beside you. Change can happen. Revolution is not the answer...so cool your jets.

Scrubs

2009-02-17T20:44:00.000-08:00

I think the show Scrubs is the best show on TV. It has recently passed The Office due to things beyond my control. Don't worry though. I still think the Office is a 9 out of 10...Scrubs is just a 9 1/4 out of 10. That is all.

Feel the rhythm, feel the rhyme...

2009-02-15T21:43:00.000-08:00

I've always had a problem with 'praise services', aka contemporary services. I never understood how waving your arms around, singing campfire songs with lack-luster lyrics made one feel closer to God....o wait. It doesn't. That, a long with the fact that the majority of the congregation involved in the 'praise fest' are shallow and need that false closeness to God because they don't know anything about their faith or their God. This stereotype (yes, I'll admit it's a stereotype, but it's spot on as far as I'm concerned) was further solidified this weekend. I'm walking up the dorm stairs with one of my friends when he runs into this kid he knows. We had been to a few parties (it was a friday night) and decided to call it quits semi-early. This kid informs us of his jaw dropping experience he had that night. He said something to this effect:

Kid: Man! You all missed out. I just got back from _____(insert some lame acronym for some campus worship service). You shoulda been there!

Friend: That's cool man. We just got back from _____'s house. (insert some guy's house whose name I do not know)

Kid: Dang! Yes we were singing for like 2 hours straight! We sang so much my voice hurts. It was really something. It put me in SUCH a good mood. Heck, I'm still in a good mood.

This isn't word for word but the last thing is...basically. I had a couple problems with this....but I won't complain about 'em............that's a lie. Here they are.

One. "You shoulda been there" He acted like he was all that and a bag of chips for going to a worship service on a Friday night when we were out at a party. Sorry I didn't get my gold stars out there champ. I guess I'm a little slow on the draw.

Two. "We were singing for two hours straight....We sang so much, my voice hurts!" Once again, congrats man. I'm sure that strain on your voice made God realize how devoted you are to Him. Singing for that long must have showed God how much you love him right? Wrong. You could sing 'Our God is an Awesome God' for ever and it would still count for next to nothing. Remember, actions don't get you into heaven...but I'm sure he knows that....that brings me to my last problem.

Three. "It put me in such a good mood. I'm still in a good mood!" That's straight up B.S. STRAIGHT UP! That mood you're feeling is nothing short of a facade. It's fake and it's something YOU created to hide the simple truth that you just wasted two hours of your life singing elementary songs while waving around your hands because you 'feel the spirit'. Why's it a waste? Nothing of substanence was done at this service. No sacraments. No lessons. And probably no Scripture. You're in a good mood because you think you are closer to God now that you've sang how much you love Him. You couldn't be more wrong. You're in a good mood because that's the facade you've came up with to hide the fact that you're relationship with God is that of a fifth grade crush. You're an idiot.

Always smiling,
Brian Shellenberger

So it's been a while...

2009-02-09T21:32:00.001-08:00

Ok, so I know it's been about forever and a day since I've last written but no time like the present, right? A whole semester of my sophomore year has flown by so it's needless to say, some stuff has happened....more specifically, some crucial realizations. So here they are..

1) I've come to the conclusion that change isn't bad. It's actually quite the opposite. People seem to freak out when they don't have their life laid out in front of them which causes them to settle. They settle for mediocrity. They settle for family. They settle for their job. They settle and quickly become the statistic of the 'American Dream'. They stick to the plan; to their plan; to the plan someone else laid out before their eager little feet. They stick to the plan and become comfortable. They stick to the plan and become bored. They stick to the plan and start regretting everything. They think about veering from the plan and immediately start to sweat. 'What if' starts tapping them on the shoulder and they get anxious. They get excited. They start laying out a different plan. 'What if' brings a couple friends this time as back up. Introducing 'Let's be real' and his right hand man 'It's too late'. This tenacious trio packs a punch; a punch so hard they can't be ignored. This is too much to handle. They start to get back on track. They settle again. They settle and repress. They settle and wipe the dirt off their shoulder and get back to business. This is a trend, a situation, a life, I refuse to be a part of. Change is exciting. It's irresponsible. It's a shot in the dark. It's hit or miss...and more than likey a miss. It's everything the tenacious trio despises...and I'm obsessed. I would much rather spend my life looking for that one (or two, or twenty) 'true' happiness and never find it than give up and cut my losses. That's a cop out. That's giving up. That's suicide in all respects except physically. I have no idea what I'm going to do with my life, and I'm fine with that. I barely no what I'm doing tomorrow. Some may say that's irresponsible, immature, and a potential waste...and I couldn't agree more....

2) I really wanna pursue Advertising still but I also really like traveling and Germany and it's language. We'll see where that goes....

3) I have had second thoughts about college. It still seems like a crap shoot but I do agree in higher education....just not the way it's ran. And I do love college life.

4) I listen to a lot of hip hop and rap....along with everything else except for country. I have no qualms with turning up Lil' Wayne and rolling my windows down. Judge me if you like...but I'm enjoying myself.

5) I've become more sarcastic...not so sure why.

6) I've become far less tolerant to B.S. and I have no problems with letting you know how I feel about the subject. I'll leave it at that.

7) I'm done with the frat life. I've had my fun. It's not for me. Ah shucks.

8) I'm ready to get my own house and live with less than five guys, rather than seventy.

9) People care far too much about what others think. Maybe I've just started to care less...which can be good and bad...depends who you are.

10) Lastly, I'm ready to get my life rollin. I'm done screwin around. I may be a C student, according to my GPA (which is another realization within a realization...crazy, I know) but that doesnt mean I'm willing to work at an average pace. If I see something I want, guarantee I'm gonna try to get it. If I don't get it, however, I'm sure another opportunity will arise. I got time.

I'm sure there's more that should be said considering its been a while and a lot can happen in six months....but I thought this was a good start.

o wow...

2008-06-09T23:37:00.000-07:00

It's 1:38 in the a.m. at the moment. I was gonna go to bed but decided to check the ole Facebook before I hit the sack. So yea, I'm sitting on the couch with laptop in, well, lap, watching T.V. Apparently Oprah is on again at 1 in the morning because I'm watching it right now. Before I say anything more...I don't like Oprah...at all. Despite her 'favorite things' shinanigans, I've decided she's more or less a cult leader. That's all I'll say about my opinion on her...for now. So I'm watching this show and there is a guy, who used to be a girl, who's having a baby. On top of that, I'm fairly sure that her 'wife' is a girl who used to be a guy. You've got to be kidding me. This kid is going to be all kinds of screwed up. These people suck....gross.

the unfunny funny girl...

2008-06-08T22:39:00.000-07:00

So I'm at work a few days ago. I'm doing my usual, just standing around, acting like I'm doing something. (I work at the GAP and when we're not busy, I tend to either sit around the cash register or pretend I'm folding clothes...and no I'm not gay. I just happen to work in a very 'liberal' company.) As a preface, I should say that we just acquired a new manager because one of our other managers, who was by far my favorite, left for Best Buy. Whatever. So yea, I've worked with this girl (young woman, lady, it's weird calling her a girl but whatever) for a total of four times and every single time she has worn the same capri jeans. Same exact pair, swear to God. I'm not against wearing an item of clothing more than once or twice in a week without washing it, but either her sense of hygiene is alot more 'adventurous' than mine or she has bought 18 pairs of the same exact jeans. Either way, it's not normal. ANYWAYS, as I said, I'm standing around the cash register. She comes around the corner and sees me. She's new enough that she dares not scold me (I take FULL advantage of this) but she IS a manager so she just looks at me...and continues to stare. I don't know what to think about the whole situation other than that it's really uncomfortable, and she knows this, so she sparks up some friendly, employee conversation.

Manager: So you ready to get off?
Me (who had been there for maybe two hours on a seven hour shift): Yea, definitely...
Manager: Well, five more hours and you're outta here! Hahahahahha...(laughs uncontrollably)
Me (verbally): Ha, yup.....
Me (mentally): WHAT?!!...why are you laughing so hard??

And that was it. That was the whole conversation. Hardly even five lines long and somehow, she managed to create one of the most awkward situations a human can encounter: someone who thinks they're funny, when they aren't, and continues to laugh at their own joke until you chime in with a chuckle or two. It was awful. I immediately started to actually do some work just so I could get away from her. I don't know why she felt she had to 'make a funny' with me but it was definitely unnecessary and it could've saved both of us the awkwardness that we now have. She knew I didn't think it was funny. Heck, she probably knew what she said wasn't funny but for whatever reason, she decided in that crazy head of her's that it would be a good idea to bust out laughing. Bad move, ma'm, bad move. It wasn't funny. I enjoyed nothing of the whole encounter. And now, whenever I see you, I can't help but to think that now, every time you say something, I'm going to have to endure the pain of the possibility of squeezing out that fake chuckle, just to make you stop laughing at your 'witty' remarks.

I realize that I'm not too smart for talking like this about a manager. If she got ahold of this, I'm sure I would be fired. I'm kinda banking on her not ever reading this but I guess it might do her some good to glance over it. It would sure save me some emotional stress...although now that I know it's coming, I guess I could have some fun with it. hmmm....I'm goin to bed.